Who am I?

Who am I?

By: Jessica Bardol

            The sun was shining high in the sky that morning; it was going to be a beautiful day. Gregor sighed as he rose from his bed and opened the curtains. He was still attempting to adjust to his new life. Growing up he was always a good student, straight A’s to be exact. He even graduated third in his class. At the beginning of Gregor’s freshmen year of college he began to change. No one on campus accepted the fact that he was an artist who had his own vision in the world. This tore him apart on the inside, and eventually he decided to drop out of school. If no one on campus would appreciate his work, then no one would ever offer him a job. He began roaming the streets as a low life who saw no reason to be sucessful.

Things changed one afternoon while Gregor was walking home from the store. He stumbled across a group of men standing in the alleyway. They beckoned for him to come, and he did.

“Hey kid, do you want to try some?” The man in charge asked. It was clear who the leader was going to be in the group. He was a tall man mabye 6'4- 6'6 the tallest, he smelled of weed, his clothes were torn, and he looked as his he could be a bouncer in a club.

A puzzled look appeared on Gregor’s face, so the other man continued “drugs stupid!”

 Gregor was silent for a moment,  he had been taught better to give into peer pressure, but he so desperately wanted to fit in. At this point he would do anything it took to finally be considered cool. At first he wanted nothing to do with the drugs but he ignored that little voice in his head and ever so  slowly he reached for the stash. The other two men standing in the alley stared walking away, for now their job was done.

The leader stayed behind and pointed a finger to Gregor saying “If you run low come back here, we come back twice each day.”

A few minutes later Gregor was rushing up to his room, and he scatted the drugs on the floor of his room. He looked like a little child on Christmas morning, looking at all the bright colors and wondering which gift he should open first.

Out of nowhere his door flew open and in walked sister Gerte. “Hey Gregor, Gregor! What are you doing?” She asked and began moving around the room touching everything in her path. Finally she looked at her brother, but she noticed that he was not giving her any attention. She now noticed the bottles on the floor, and she shrieked. “Gregor! Why are you doing drugs? Stop this terrible habit right this second.’’ She snapped, now showing that she was in charge of the conversation. Gregory rolled his eyes and said “You cannot tell me what to do.’’ Gerte had always been a stubborn little child and even to this day she gave her parents a run for their money. She jumped on her brother, trying to pry the bottles from his hands. “No they are mine, mine own!” Gregor screamed. Gregor knew he should not have yelled at his sister, after all she was just trying to help. She was the only person in the world who he loved and knowing he upset her just made him feel possitvely awful .

After that first day with the drugs it did not take long for him to get hooked, and every day since he went back for more. When Gregor was alone that night there was a plethora of things on his mind. He knew his new life was a sad one, but it was something he had come to know and accept. However he felt terrible he could not provide for his family. He was used to doing the shopping, cleaning and working. Now he was useless, and he just wanted to help but there was nothing he could do. He was a cockroach, an ugly bug cast out from society.

The following morning Gregor opened the door and saw his boss standing before his eyes. She pushed the door open wide and said “I see you have not died, just more disgusting

looking than usual.” Gregor just stood motionless with his hands in his pockets, and said nothing. Before his transformation he never missed a day of work. He was the good worker always did what he was told, but never spoke to anyone.

His boss pointed a finger at him, and said “Seriously look at you: old t-shirt and jeans full of holes, and that hair. Honestly no one has had hair that long since the 60’s.’’

A few weeks later the house was filled with beautiful music. Mom, dad and Gerte were down stairs celebrating because dad was going back to work. He had been laid off for the last three years, and finally he was returning to work. He would be working at the car dealer that laid him off because they finally realized how important my father was. From the bed room Gregor could hear the music playing, and Gerte was nice enough to open the door just a crack so he could hear it as well. Still to this day it is one of my favorite songs, and it brought me great comfort to hear it. As the months went on everything began to change. Mom and dad would not come to visit Gregor they were beginning to think of him as a burden and should be out on my own. That same night they brought a letter into my room. With my new arms holding the letter was near impossible. So mom opened it for Gregor, and she left him with his thoughts.

                                                           

Gregor,

I know this is going to pain you a great deal, but it is time. I met a wonderful man last week and I know he is going to be the one. We decided just yesterday to run off to Vegas and get married. It is hard to imagine that I am going to be a bride.

Love,

Gerte

Gregor slowly moved from the letter, he was in complete shock that his sister would just abandon him. Even though he was no surprised because Gerte had changed as well. She was no longer the loving and friendly sister that Gregor had known; she had become cold and often hated the world.

A few nights later Gregor was called into the kitchen by his parents. “Son there is something we have to tell you.’’ His father said. For a moment everyone in the kitchen was silent but his father spoke with “We do not know who you are anymore. This drug addiction needs to stop, but we do not know how to help you. But your mother and I have spent the last few nights talking. We think you should go to rehab. Find your identity again and then come home. We will manage without you here promise.’’  Gregor stormed out of the room, locking his bedroom door and throwing everything in his sight. If he were to truly leave his family he would be alone, he would have no one in the world. Gregor loved his family with all his heart even if at times they did not feel the same way. Without them he was a nobody, and this scared him down to the very core.  He was angry at the fact that his parents so desperately wanted to get rid of him. First he turned into a terrible bug and now his family was trying to abandon him. What a horribe life poor Gregor had and he started to cry. The next morning Gregor took a deep breath, he got in the car and never once did he look back.